April Fool

Well, I missed April Fools by about 30 minutes as I only just got up after my Birthday bash last night. I wrote a couple of joke articles for April Fools but below is my favourite one.

"Dear Reader of BXB, today is April Fools day which means that everything you see, read or are told before midday is probably a bunch of lies and rubbish all made up by cruel people trying to lower your self-esteem.

Some people have heavily criticised BXB over the last few months for our Editorial Policy especially around the Black Xbox 360 story. We'd like to apologise to the people that mistook our poorly written attempt at satire several weeks ago because we didn't mean for you all to feel that you were made out to be stupid.

At BXB, we like to break with tradition and we'll be officialyl abstaining from April Fools 2007 and posting this handy guide to surviving April Fools Day 2007.

1) The most important thing to remember about April Fools Day is that it's the innocent people around you that will catch you out, make you feel foolish and decrease your already tragically low self-esteem. Our advice? Stay in your room, don't talk to anyone, don't go onto Xbox Live, leave your PC off (not even to make a few bags on World of Warcraft).

2) If you must go out don't listen to anything anyone says to you before 12 midday especially on subjects like the proximity of famous people; whether you have a bit of food on your jumper or whether you've dropped your "gay card" or not.

3) Avoid walking near the kerb, walking through slightly ajar doors, going to the toilet, putting your feet into wellingtons, opening cans of food, pulling on oddly placed string, trying to pick up any money you find, answering phone calls, answering the door, don't drink cider, or water, or eat anything at all.

4) Help reduce your chances of being the victim of practical jokers by avoiding chavs and other young people in the street. These hoodlums thinking nothing of pulling off irresponsible practical jokes for the other 8748 hours of the year!

5) Remember, the chances are the people playing pranks on you probably have a lower self-esteem than you and need to see other people put down to make themselves feel better. In essence, they're more afraid of you than you are of them.

6) Most importantly, don't believe what you read on the internet. If you do find yourself believing and then it turns out to be a prank, please, remember, it's just a website and it can't really hurt you. Reacting by posting offensive or threatening messages will lead to further taunting and a waste of those extended therapy sessions.

7) We'd like to finish this guide with a few words to say to yourself all day long, repeated after us: "We are all special. We are all wonderful people. No-one can take that away from us."

We hope you've found this guide useful and that the 12 hour long threat to your self esteem passes you by without anyone making a fool of you.

"We are all special. We are all wonderful people. No-one can take that away from us."